"What are you, a park ranger now?"

Guerrilla Goat Herding

The idea came up during a "Privet Pull" at a local urban forest, 5 Acre Woods. It was an extra credit opportunity, so I expected to get in, get out, and earn a couple gimme points on my next Planning test. When I mentioned to the man in charge and hometown friend, Coach Counter, that his overgrown lot could use the help of my goats, he jumped all over the idea. 48 hours later, I was getting permission to miss Tuesday's classes so I could herd my goats.

Everything went relatively smoothly. The goats had two temporary paddocks, with the first pictured above. I spent from 9:30 to 1:30 with the goats at the first paddock, watching them obliterate every privet plant within reach. The second paddock was monitored by Coach Counter and several of his classmates, also landscape architecture majors, while I ran back to campus to take a Plant ID quiz. The goats left the property right at 5:00 PM. After roughly 7.5 hours of non stop eating, our three guys were noticeably stuffed.

Picture worthy?

The transportation went pretty well. With two pairs of hands, it'd be a cinch. Another Dougie Shoutout to Hans for loaning us Millie's jumbo dog crate. Once I got all three inside, they rode comfortably both to and from the site. (I spotted one guy in a pickup truck leaning over his dash with a camera taking a picture of the above scene. I wonder if he was an Achiever...)

There were a few complication with the fencing. This black plastic stuff just won't cut it. It's too brittle and the goats can lean on it way too easily. Some taller, orange construction fencing might do the trick, especially in terms of mobility. And then electrical fencing is always an option if you really wanted to be temporary. If you had the time and resources, the best bet would be to string up hog wire around the entire area and let the goats do their thing. It wouldn't take long for a small herd of goats to make an obvious dent in a privet infested lot like 5 Acre Woods.

Overall, Coach Counter and his classmates seemed to enjoy the goats' help. There were plenty of pictures taken and even a video or two, so I'll be sure to share when I get a hold of them. Unfortunately, keeping goats within Athens city limits isn't at all legal, so we can't go too big with using goats on the property, but it's definitely something to consider on down the road.

"Another caucasion, Gary."

Acorns v. Noble Goat

We had our first taste test yesterday. "Slam" Duncan and Dora donated enough Water Oak acorns to feed the goats for a week. They hauled an entire wine box full of the morsels off their roof, just to share with our goats. That's a lot of acorns to be carrying up and down a ladder, especially for an older couple like our neighbors. Big time Dougie Shoutout.

I didn't think the goats would find something they like more than their daily pan full of Noble Goat, but it wasn't even close. Like watching a family of obese rednecks devour a Shoney's buffet line. They were chowing down.

The big oak is located almost on the property line between us and Dunc' and Dora's. I've noticed the goats hanging out under it's canopy munching on fallen acorns before. Unfortunately, that's the only mast producing tree on the property. Tulip poplars, sweet gums, black gums, mulberries, and maples are the usuals in the backyard. They'll eat the freshly fallen leaves, but I'm sure the goats would rather have a few more oaks back there, constantly dropping little, delicious nuggets all around them.

I wonder how they feel about pecans...

"New sh*t has come to light, man!"

It's finally time to cross that bridge I've been putting off for so long. Thanksgiving Break starts this weekend and lasts through the next. That's a lot of time to leave these three dudes unattended and just hope for the best. Yeah Right. That was one (extreme) option. Another (extreme) option was to rush the slaughtering/processing time to late this week. Wasn't comfortable with that either.

So we decided to take the goats back out to Miss Charlie's farm either Wednesday or Thursday to chill with her herd. (Dougie Shoutout to freshman year intramural soccer phenom, James for the suggestion.) That way I won't have to worry about Digby getting into Dora's camellias. And, since the goats will already be out there, Miss Charlie offered her neighbor's help in the entire killing/skinning/butchering process. I'd like to be involved and learn as much as possible from this guy. Wouldn't be opposed to the idea of getting my hands in there either. In fact, I think I should. And you'd be surprised how many people have voiced their desire to be involved in this phase of the goat experiment. Unfortunately for my bloodthirsty friends, I haven't granted anyone the wish of tagging along. Yet, at least. Is that something you can invite your friends to? If they're genuinely interested in learning?

On that note, the topic of eating goat meat came up in our conversation around Miss Charlie's wood stove. That whole ordeal will be eye opening. From what I understand, after Neighbor Randall and I have done the less appealing components of a "goat harvest," we'll be left with an entire skinless carcass, which she recommended we cut in halves or quarters, boil in a large pot, barbecue, then freeze. She confirmed that all of this could be done in our backyard with our Cochon de Lait setup, and even offered to lend us a massive cauldron to boil all our goat at once. I foresee an entire day devoted to cooking goat meat and distributing it amongst friends. Plenty of time to do research on different ways to prepare goat.

On top of loaning us her pots and babysitting the goats, Miss Charlie sent me home with a big zip-lock full of frozen goat meat. Boiled, then barbecued plain, then frozen. I just nuked some and tried it for the first time. It's tasty even by itself. A1 sauce is all I've got to dress it up with in the fridge, but I'm already thinking of all the cool ways this could be cooked.

"They're called Autobahn. They released an album in the late 80's."

Was just blinded by my camera's untapped technology. It certainly doesn't look capable, but the Google Picasa picture reader managed to pull up an accidental video from the depths of my camera's memory. Opens up a lot of doors. With so much testosterone back there (their gargantuan testicles are still the #1 source of conversation), we might get lucky enough to record something as YouTube-able as this:

Or this, if Scott would quit watching Bear Grylls act and do something worthwhile, like, for instance, train goats to climb ladders, walk tightropes, and stand on a cup, all with a monkey conductor:

UGA Goat Facts

Here's a fact sheet on meat goats in the state of Georgia. From the UGA College of Agricultural & Environmental Sciences.

"In a recent survey, Texas retailers said they could sell 4.8 million goat carcasses a year if they could be supplied."

That's a lotta cabrito. If this landscape architecture thing doesn't work out, looks like Plan B is invest in a sturdy staff, get myeself a good dog, buy a couple of goats, and start my career as a Lone Star State goat herder.

"Is there a Ralph's around here?"

With the leftovers of our liberated hog wire roll, we finally replaced that eyesore sweetgum situation. Looks much, much cleaner, and I can sleep easier not having to worry about extra brave goats. Gracias, Scott, for the helping hand. (Another perk of the bonfire pit is the house's newfound motivation to clean up fallen limbs for pyromania purposes.)

On the other side of the yard, our original solution is still kicking ass. I think it's got more to do with goat's hating water than us being crafty. But if you've spent as much time as we have wrangling up adventurous goats, you'd get excited about small victories like this too...

Weathering The Storm

We got yet another serious drenching all day Tuesday. Steve's Creek was noticeably swollen, and the yard itself was pooling up all over. Thankfully, the goat shelter and hay remained high and dry, so the herd didn't seem to mind too much. They were quiet, which, from what I understand, means you've got happy goats on your hands.

After the rain eased up and the wind picked up, the goats were pumped to have all the fresh leaves falling all around them. And it left the backyard looking as attractive as I've seen it.

Dougie Shoutout to Papa Condon for hooking us up with some heavy duty nails to secure our new benches. Also, there's a nice layer of mulch around the benches somewhere under all those leaves. Good work, Dusty.

"Sure, you'll see some tank battles."

Breakfast, returning from online humiliation, puts the hurt on a Digby/John Abraham tag team.

I'm more than a little concerned with Digby's court awareness. Several times Breakfast had him backed up to within inches of a disastrous fall into Steve's Creek. Now that would be YouTube material.

"I've seen a lot of spinals in my day."

The family came in town last weekend to check up on me and the goats. After their initial fascination wore off, Mom whipped out the new camcorder in hopes of bringing back some urban goat footage back to the grandparents and immediate family. (Dougie Shoutout to Uncle Homer for the names "Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.") To spice things up, my brother Henry and I encouraged some climbing by placing privet and goat feed up off the ground. Here's the result:

"Sometimes they fall. That'd be ideal." We couldn't have scripted it any better. He even waited for me to finish my story. Fortunately, he hopped right back up and went after the Noble Goat like nothing happened - so I don't feel guilty posting it for the world to see.

"Like an Irish monk?"

Here's the new bridge gate. Yeah, I realize it's not going to featured on any home improvement shows, but it gets the job done. And it was free - liberated hogwire fastened to lumber from a frat dumpster with some nails.

The already leaning rail makes the entire bridge look awkward (and unsafe), but no goats have been dropping land mines on it since the gate's inclusion. So we're saying mission accomplished.

"It's just part of your whole sick Cynthia thing."

Remember that post daring any ambitious goats to make the 4 foot jump into Dunc' and Dora's yard? Well, John Abraham strutted up there and leaped like it wasn't nothin' but a peanut. He stuck the landing and promptly starting munching on Dora's camellias.

I blocked off that potential escape route with a conveniently shaped limb. (Since this picture was taken, the barrier has been beefed up with the salvaged dumpster lumber.) When he made a second attempt and was stumped by the new impasse, he did a 180 back to the notch visible in the picture. Then he took off even farther up the downed tree, getting as much as 10 feet off the ground. He didn't like his odds as much from there and turned back before I could snap a picture from the other side.

Again, I suppose I could take preventive measures and block off that route as well. But, like before, I'm interested to see just how capable these goats are of escaping. A nine to ten foot jump is quite an accomplishment. Maybe something I could brag about as a goat owner...

"Dude, I finally got the venue I wanted."

The Dougie Deck is once again hospitable. Now, the steps and side of the deck pictured are fenced off with our newly acquired hog wire.

It's becoming more and more obvious that the number one challenge with goats is keeping them where you want them. Definitely underestimated their abilities. I'd say about 75% of my time spent with the goats is patching up a fence or solving some other boundary issue. If you have the option, do it right the first time and save yourself the trouble down the road.

"This isn't 'Nam. There are rules."

Here's the first paragraph of the email I received earlier today from University Housing:

"Juneau Construction plans to conduct a pre-dawn, concrete slab pour tomorrow morning. The concrete pour is scheduled to begin at 3:00am on Wednesday, November 4, 2009. Set-up will occur before 3:00am. Set-up will likely include mobilization of the pump truck, minor crane operation, powering-up of light towers, and mobilization of manpower."

All right outside my window. Is President Mike reading my blog? Am I being punished?

"Mobilization of manpower?" Are we getting ready for war? And is there really such a thing as "minor crane operation?" If you're operating a freaking crane, you're operating a freaking crane. It's going to keep me up. That's just asking for me to liberate construction materials for my goats. Maybe a few leftover palettes. Or maybe even some new roof shingles for the goat house...

Still Accepting Donations

"Slam" Duncan and Dora's Most Recent Contributions to the Cause

Big Dougie Shoutout to neighbors Dunc' and Dora for their generous donations of 3 antiquated and disfigured landscaping tools:

• Rusty and undoubtedly unsafe, those loppers are still every privet bush's (and my appendages') worst nightmare.
• The newest gift, our bent pitchfork, has definitely seen better days. But I'd put money on my Grandpa being able to fix it. So it may be useful yet.
• Those old school wire cutters are money. We had some dinky ones from one of the guys' tool kits. Probably a graduation gift. All they did was wear my arms out. These guys, on the other hand, slide through hog wire like butter, making my life so much easier.

Dora's even hooking up the goats with the occasional treat of a Ginger Lily plant from her yard. She says they slurp down the long, lanceolate leaves all at once. Pretty impressive.

"Eyeball to Eyeball"

John Abraham laying the wood to Digby

While working on a new fencing solution to keep the goats off the deck, I heard Digby and Johnny A going at it on the bridge. I snapped a few action shots but only this one comes close to giving justice to the intensity and sheer bloodlust. There were some serious head butts and even a few flying kicks out of Johnny's corner. Almost knocked Digby into the creek. He's easily the baddest mutha on the block.

Goat Grub

Goat Food Fit for Nobility

Just purchased this bag of goat feed from Tractor Supply. If you're like me and way too interested in goat nutrition and weight gain, you can check out more details here. It comes in a pellet form, and the goats seem to think it's delicious.

It's a 5o pound bag, and I'm only giving each goat 2.5 solo cups full per day. So we'll see how long this goat grub lasts. Once they go through the whole thing, I would think it'd be close to slaughtering time. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there...