"If you will it, Dude, it is no dream."

Today is killing day. And only now has the unidentifiable heavy feeling in my stomach begun to set in. It's not a nervous or guilty feeling, but whatever it is, it's there. A respectful anxiousness almost. It was there last year, too, and I hope it's there every time I'm in a similar situation.

In nearly every conversation involving goat slaughtering, someone inevitably brings up the "sadness" or "guilt" I should supposedly be experiencing. "Was it hard?" "How could you kill your pets?" "But they had names!" Heard 'em all.

And why shouldn't people be shocked? Killing and eating our own food is something most of us have become distanced from, either by choice or convenience. To be honest, before last year's goats, I was no exception. I sped past the animal rights activists passing out flyers just as fast as the next guy.

So, putting ourselves in a position to buy, raise, kill, and ultimately eat a large animal seems counterintuitive. But, the knowledge gained from last year's experiences - and several more this past hunting season - has resulted in an entirely new personal philosophy on eating food. Now, it makes too much sense not to.

Credit should also be given to the recent increase in food conscious movies and literature. Food, Inc., Supersize Me, King Corn, Wendell Berry, and Michael Pollan created a perfect storm of influences that has helped alter my views, as well as the views of countless others. The fact that this year's goat owners are adamant and excited about today's slaughtering is proof enough.

If you, the reader, are struggling with the idea of our four goats dying, I say to you:

1. Read and watch the media above. This essay by Michael Pollan is a good starting point.
2. Understand that our goats lived the happiest of goat lives
3. Rest assured the killing process will be as quick and humane as possible
4. Come celebrate the goats - and food sustainability - next weekend with the end-of-season roast