"It's like Lenin said..."

Today's plans to begin repairing the existing fence had to be postponed. Instead, we used extra wood to construct a makeshift ark in anticipation of the remainder of this Biblical rain storm.

While I'm trapped indoors, I might as well give you the low down on the backyard:

• Creek: The backyard is split into two sections by a small creek. The water level rarely exceeds ankle-deep; however, it's probably kayakable as I write. The stream bed this trickle runs down has severely eroded banks - probably from rainstorms like today's.
• Bridge: The 8-foot chasm is traversable by means of two bridges, one on either side of the yard. The goats will be free to roam around both banks, as both sides have plenty of weeds in need of munching. Because one bridge is accessible from the porch, it's likely that one bridge will be reserved for Homo sapiens, and the other for Capra hircus.
• Garden: The Little Garden That Could is still holding on by a thread in a small patch along the creek. There's a few scraggly tomatoes and half a dozen or so pepper plants left, so the goats will have to be kept separate.
• Materials: Between several personal collections and a ecelectic trove of abandoned materials under the deck, we have the following available to us for construction and maintenance purposes:

1. Hammer and nails
2. Rusty old saw
3. Duct tape
4. Pile of 4" x 8' lumber rescued from a friend's fraternity dumpster
5. (18) cinder blocks from last year's pig roasting pit
6. Shovel and rake
7. Unknown amount of pre-loved chicken wire fencing
8. (3) 4' x 8' sections of recyclable plywood signage used in one of Nate's Free Palestine rallies
9. Several old 1- and 2-gallon plastic plant buckets

• Budget: Ideally, other than the initial cost of the goats, this entire adventure won't require any additional funding. If it does, expect "Goat Money" to show up on my Christmas wish list. We should be able to get by, though, until birthday and holiday cash starts rolling in. Having said that, there will probably be plenty of unpredictable expenditures. Having said that, it's important to stress my frugality. I'm not above liberating materials from UGA construction sites. Besides, their 2-6 am concrete pouring schedules are entirely incompatible with my sleep routine. And you could classify this as personal revenge for President Adam's decision to decline Athens' bid for hosting a 2018 World Cup match. Really, Mike? That's a no brainer, dude.

The weatherman's predicting rain everyday for the foreseeable future, so getting this thing off the ground is proving harder than I thought. I want to see a goat already.

"Look at our current situation..."

We light the grill for the 2nd annual Cochon de Lait in less than 3 weeks. A small army of friends and family are expected to descend upon the Dougie House to enjoy 200 lbs of Cajun-cooked swine and watch the 'Dawgs lay the wood to LSU. This Pig Roast has been the topic of conversation for a solid 11 months now, so it's safe to say expectations for this 48 hour affair are high.

Problem: The backyard resembles a small national forest. Poison ivy, privet, honeysuckle, English ivy. You name it, it's probably back there. And in large quantities. Altogether, it looks uninviting, overgrown, and probably unsafe. Like a scene out of a John Rambo movie. It's a big back yard. And the residents aren't chomping at the bit to get back there with machetes and Roundup. So what's a poor college student to do?

Answer: Slash and burn agriculture? -Nah, probably frowned upon.

Napalm? - Nope. Fresh out.

Two female Nubian goats? - Yahtzee.

Over the next few weeks, for both a quasi-academic study and personal enjoyment, I'll be documenting our experiences with these two goats. In case there's more of you out there wondering if goats are the solution to all your problems, I'll to try to be as descriptive and informative as possible without turning this blog into a dry, online textbook. Among other unpredictable observations, look for the following themes to come up in my postings in the immediate future:

• Fencing
• Shelter
• Enough food occurring naturally?

(And what's all this hype about goats eating anything? They'll be in pretty close contact with drunk college kids, so we should have some interesting reports by the end of the semester.)

• Water
• Naming the goats

(Any ideas? The more controversial the better.)

• Noisy?
• Skittish vs. friendly
• Amusement factor
• Will the neighbors care?
• How cheap can I get a goat?
• How long till the excitement wears off and we realize we're stuck with 2 female goats?

As of right now, we're at square one. All we've got is a Craigslist contact, a lot of weeds, and an existing fence in need of repair. There is, however, some old bundles of fencing under the deck. So, by this time tomorrow, the goal is a functioning, goat-proof enclosure.

"Wave of the future, Dude. 100 percent electronic."

While I hope more interesting, this post should at least come across as one of a much different tone. My dark, scary perceptions of the internet and technology have been successfully replaced with shinier, happier images in a matter of minutes. My roommate Adam just hooked me up with two clutch improvements:

1. Plugging in my ethernet cable. I still don't know what "Mbps" means, but I used to get excited about my connection topping out at 15 units. He plugged something in, clicked a button, and we were talking 300. Right off the bat. Hell yeah.
2. Switching my web browser to Google Chrome. I had no idea Internet Explorer was considered so archaic. But now I've seen the light.

30 minutes ago, the words "ethernet" or "web browser" weren't a part of my vocabulary. How far till the noob finish line?

Next post is about goats. I promise.

"You're like a child that wonders into a movie."

This is my first post. And it's a whiner. I have no idea what I'm doing and am completely out of my element with this blog design process. Way too many options and check boxes for a first timer.

Does this designate me a "noob?"

Among other things, I suppose this blogging experience will improve my computer literacy. Rock bottom isn't a good place to be upon entering the work force. Blew my mind the other day that we no longer have to write "www."

I'll post again shortly. With more interesting content, I hope.